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THE 5 BEST SMART ARSED ANSWERS   SMART ARSED ANSWER 5 It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated  in the front row. "What are my choices?" the man asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMART ARSED ANSWER 4 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check  tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he  opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, "Sir, I need to see your  ticket not your stub." SMART ARSED ANSWER 3 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of  Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her  family. She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any  bigger?" The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead." SMART ARSED ANSWER 2 The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for  speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all  day," the bobby said. The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could." When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his  way without a ticket. SMART ARSED ANSWER 1 A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up  that read " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got  stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The  policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said  to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?" The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran  out of petrol!"

Wareham Legions Club 2010